Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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