shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
