Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Randomize
