The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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