I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
