he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
