You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
