they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
