lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
