I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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