Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
