yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
