make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
