....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I touched a dick in church today
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
