thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am puke
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
