It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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