Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
