it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
