Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
