my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Even my vagina gasped.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
