He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize