We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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