It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
