I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
