Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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