you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I need a hoe opinion
go on
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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