I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
and she was petting her beer can
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I am one with the molecules
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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