How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I need to calm my uterus...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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