i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
This is the prime rib incident all over again
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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