Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
