is wine microwaveable?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
