Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
