The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
