i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
