Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
