he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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