Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
