so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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