the new term for farting is butt boxing.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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