u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
