Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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