id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
