I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
