Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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