i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
