Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
