ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
