I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
