Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
