...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
