I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
