u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you didnt know i had herpes?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
