don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
